I have two kids. If you know me, you already know. They're my pups. Macho(2 years old) & Molly (8 years old). Aside from my husband & my family, they are the glimmers of light in my life.
Years ago, I didn't know anything about American Pit-Bull Terriers. All I knew was what I had heard through the media. How "dangerous" they are and even how their bite is the "strongest" among the breads. When I first adopted Molly- I was blinded by her sweet demeanor and smile. I didn't even prepare to bring a dog home, all I knew was that I instantly loved her and I wanted her to have a good life. Little did I know that she would save me as well.
A year after adopting her I ended up learning that I have Spinal Stenosis. Spinal Stenosis, for those of you that don't know, is a spinal disease known as "aging of the spine". Basically, my doctor revealed to me that I had the spine of a 90 year old woman and that it would no stop aging at this point. The best I could do would be to manage my pain. I was 29 years old, no insurance, and dealing with chronic pain. At that point in time, my pain had me restricted to my bed. I felt like a worthless waste of space. There was be hours at a time that I would lay in bed crying and just feeling sorry for myself. Molly would spend those hours with me- no complaints. She would wait patiently for me to pull myself up and out of bed just to let her out to use the restroom. Many nights my pain was so incredibly powerful that I just wished that I didn't wake up the next morning. By then- I was no longer sleeping in my bed and I had made a fort on the floor of my bedroom. It was the only way that I could finally fall asleep. My bed no longer provided the comfort I needed for my back. I spent so my hours laying on my side on the floor that I started to bruise from how hard the floor was. The bruising did not even compare to the pain my back gave me.
I started to look into having Molly adopted- because I couldn't live with the thought of her not having the life she deserved, just because I was in pain. In fact, my thoughts of wanting to give up stopped when I realized that if I was no longer around, who the hell would love her the way that I love her. Loving her kept me sane.
Fast forward, one day I just snapped out of it. I didn't want to attend my own pity party any longer. I started working towards strengthening myself both physically & mentally. When I decided to fight that is when my life completely changed. I ended up meeting my husband. While building our lives together- Macho came into our lives. We haven't stopped building our lives ever since. When life is so crazy, sometimes I wish it would just slow down...& then I remember those nights when I was laying on my bedroom floor crying myself to sleep. Those memories serve to remind me that I am proof that everything happens for a reason. I am so grateful for everything I have, and in times when I second guess myself those memories bring me back to reality. It could be so much more worse. I owe so many thanks to all of the people that love and support me- and to my little loves.